Growing up is such a generic and ambiguous phrase.

“Where did you grow up?”: a seemingly simple question – commonly asked in both personal and professional settings. I certainly recognize the intent of the question. The obvious answer is to describe where you spent the majority of childhood and adolescence. In many ways, that answer is correct, and it’s without a doubt the expected response.

But I contest that growing up is not a singular event.

I “grew up” in suburban Ohio. Born and raised in one location, I spent my K-12 years all within the same school district and… bubble. Looking back fondly on that period of development, it seems strange to acknowledge the fact that so much physical and mental change occurred over only ~12 years. At the time, it felt like a lifetime, although relatively speaking, I guess it was! Perspective is funny – everything seems bigger up close.

At 18, we’re adults by legal standards, yet still very much children in the chaotic web of life. Maturity comes with experience, and experience comes with time. There is no substitute. Ever notice how a child genius still tends to act like a child? Even an abnormally high IQ can never replace the necessary time it takes to mature, gather experience, and grow up.

Ultimately, maturation is a reflection of attitude. Each person experiences early life differently, but it’s only through a personal collection of trial and error that lessons can lead to growth. Learning – to listen more and talk less, to honor commitments, to be grateful and gracious, and to become rational and self-sufficient – are all discoveries adopted through periods of growing up, and are not innate character traits.

I turned 35 this month, and have been a permanent resident of Chicago for the last ~12 years. I sit here, entering ‘mid-life’ according to popular human lifelines, and recognize that growing up is not singular and specific, but rather continuous and subjective. In the last ~12 years, I’ve grown up again – this time in Chicago, a city rich with diversity and culture. I’ve solidified life-long friendships, accumulated some wealth, married, became a father, and learned to think independently along the way. It feels so much more meaningful than the first time around, when every new experience was met with caution or wonder.

Life’s stages pass in the blink of an eye: being parented, parenting ourselves, then parenting children. Each stage requires a different form of growing up that is necessary not only for survival, but also success. It’s refreshing to know that at mid-life, I’m far from done growing up. It will be interesting and humbling to reflect again in 10 years, 20 years, and 30 years – and to smile back at that 35-year-old who still had so much to learn. Life has many lessons waiting in the wings, and I’m excited to grow up, again and again.

Because the purpose of growing up is not to age, but rather, to experience growth. And our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue to grow through experience as long as we live.

So at 35, I say cheers to growing older – and still growing up.